Mirrored
by Metal.Kirby
Summary: Every single person in the world has had their gender flipped, but Kyon and Haruhi... they switched places. Rewrite in progress, Ch4 done.
1. Foreword, Prologue, Chapter 1

**Mirrored**

Every single person in the world has had their gender flipped, except for Kyon and Haruhi... they switched places.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Haruhi universe.

* * *

**Foreword:** ( a message from the author )

Mirrored is a rewrite of Mirror Image, a fanfiction I've written which was put on a three year long hiatus.

No, I kid you not. 3 years ago is when I was infected with this idea of a fanfic. However, three years is far too long for both the readers and the writer. I've lost all of the original files, I've forgotten all the ideas I had for this fanfiction. Due to these circumstances, I've taken the liberty of rewriting the whole thing from scratch - the monologues, the storyline, everything is being rewritten. Only the core concept of people everyone but Kyon and Haruhi being gender flipped remains. Otherwise, you'll find that this is a different, more polished fanfiction. I've grown as a writer in the past two years. I'd like to show it.

This will be the only author's note for the entire fanfiction, so let me clear a few things up.

_-This story will be non canon._ It's been two whole years since I've read any sort of source material for this fanfiction. Due to licensing issues, the online translation project of the novels has been terminated and removed. I've only read up to the eighth novel, and bits and pieces of the ninth. I can't buy novels 8-11 (to my knowledge, they haven't been released in America yet). Before the online translation was terminated, I bought the first novel and compared it to the online translation. They're vastly different. If I based anything off of the official publishing, the style would be a mix of the two, and it would be messy and... I'm not going to bother with it. Which leads me to my next point.

_-This story takes place in the middle of their second year at North High._ This would be an alternate canon, where chronologically, events up to their second year have taken place.

_-Kyon and Haruhi will act out of character_. Like I said, it's been two whole years since I've seen, read, or heard Haruhi. But there's a valid reason in the story as to why they act strangely.

_-The anti-SOS Brigade will not make an appearance**.**_ I haven't read the ninth novel. I've tried writing another fanfiction involving Sasaki and my interpretation of her character made her dry and just... wrong. Fujiwara, Suou, and the third person are equally as bad. So I've chosen not to include them at all.

One more thing. I write using Word. There might be strange spacing and such, and that's because the Document editor messes things up. I would use the DocX feature, but I'm not familiar with it. So, if you'd like to remedy some of the problems with the spacing and such, you can view the Fanfic using the 1/2 or 3/4 view above. I recommend it for the best reading experience.

That's about it for the Author's Note. Please, enjoy.

* * *

**Prologue:**

Since last December, I've had this thought about Haruhi. I didn't delve into it much, but it's always stayed in the back of my mind. And now that things have finally calmed down and we're just settling into our second year here at North High, I've begun to ponder the thought like a monk. Well, maybe not like a monk, more like Koizumi.

The thought? Haruhi Suzumiya is perfectly capable of acting normal.

Last December is proof of that. Even though it was some strange, alternate universe where the SOS Brigade hadn't been formed, Haruhi was still Haruhi. She was just as touchy as when I met her on the first day of school. She was just as athletic, just as scheming. But there was something different from that Haruhi and the Haruhi I'd spent most of my school year with, something only I could notice and fully understand.

The alternate Haruhi lived a normal life.

She didn't actively search for strange phenomena. She didn't say her introduction about wanting to meet aliens, time travelers, espers, and sliders. The only thing remotely close to her original self was that she wanted to have a mysterious transfer student boyfriend. And if I remember correctly, she had apparently been more sociable in that universe as well.

The Haruhi I know is one that is more eccentric. The Haruhi from that universe was more normal. But they were still one in the same. They were the same person, they had the same thoughts about the wonders of the world. The only true difference between the two was that the alternate timeline one wasn't a catastrophic demigod.

The ending conclusion I've come up to the aforementioned explanation? Haruhi Suzumiya is perfectly capable of acting normal. She just chooses not to.

Knowing her, she probably has some oversimplified reason like "Because it's fun!" or "It's because I choose to be this way!"

Can she at least stop treating us like ants to be stomped on?

Asahina-san probably hates being molested every single day. Nagato is probably indifferent, though considering she had to deal with Haruhi some 15,000 days, she's more likely to be bored with her observing job. Koizumi loves being a obsequious smiling bastard, so he probably wouldn't care either way.

I hate being a packmule.

Will the world see a day where Haruhi acts normal, for a change?

* * *

**Chapter 1:**

These were the thoughts that plagued me on a seemingly normal Thursday morning. I had woken up rather early and couldn't fall back asleep. Haruhi can haunt me even my dreams-that Adam and Eve incident has taught me that well.

The door to my cluttered room slowly opened. Out of instinct, I quickly turned my body, wrapped my head underneath my pillow and feigned sleep. My little sister was just starting her routine attempts to wake me up. She quickly switched off my alarm clock, which I hadn't even noticed had gone off, and began calling my name.

"Kyon-kun, breakfast's ready. You're gonna be late."

Since I didn't wake from her many nudges, she tried a different approach. She picked up Shamisen and placed him on my face. His claws had managed to scrape against my face, causing my immediate 'awakening', followed by yelps of pain.

Ow! Oww! Okay, I'm up… I'm up!

She pulled my hand to the bathroom and handed me my toothbrush. I roughed up her hair a little and quickly cleaned my teeth, before returning to my room to put on my uniform. I snagged a piece of toast on the way out. Keeping a steady, slow pace, I ambled my way up the dreadful hill.

It was the beginning of May, with flowers in full bloom. Golden Week had passed last week, myself having spent time uneventfully with my family. The sun wasn't beating down on me, and a light breeze would arrive every now and then. The daily climb wasn't nearly as dreadful today, thankfully.

I eventually reached the North High's entrance and consequently my shoe locker.

"Oi, what is that?"

Taniguchi said accusingly. Hm?

A note rested on top of my shoe locker.

"Kyon's got a love letter?" Taniguchi grabbed it from my shoe locker and held it teasingly. Hey, give that back! "When did you get a secret admirer?" He said mockingly, ripping it open.

"What the heck is this?"

I snatched it from his hands, took a quick glance at it, and thought the exact same thing.

On the paper was a bunch of smudged lines drawn in abstract shapes. I vaguely remembered something like this. Haruhi's message at Tanabata three-... er, four years ago.

I didn't have any more time to dwell on it, as Taniguchi had begun pulling a confused me towards Class 2-5. Before she could see it, I pocketed the letter and her a quick 'hello' before sitting down. Haruhi didn't respond instead listening to some music with a rather large pair of yellow headphones.

"What's with you today?" I asked.

"None of your business."

Ah, so something like that? Haruhi was being difficult again. Melancholic even.

"What was that?"

Nothing!

Okabe-sensei walked in a few minutes late. I counted this as a blessing. Who knows what Haruhi would have done to me? Disregarding that, I'll probably just get punished later during club.

If you'd like to leave a message before she kills me, leave a note in my shoe locker.

* * *

Lunchtime arrived, and the previously melancholic attitude of Haruhi disappeared. "Yes!"She jumped out of her seat, vaulted over a couple of desks and ran out the door.

Thud!

"What was all that about?" Kunikida pulled up a seat. Taniguchi sat next to him.

"She was pissy all morning. What did you say to her?"

Who said I did anything?

I sighed and stood up.

"Where you going?"

"Clubroom." I replied. Taniguchi shot me a quizzical look. "She's probably kicking up a storm right now." That, and I want to ask Nagato what the letter is about.

"Ah, right. Hey, can I eat your lunch?"

I shrugged and walked over to the old school building with a brisk pace. No one was screaming, that was a good sign. I knocked on the door before entering, and saw Nagato sitting in her corner.

Does she ever go to class?

"Nagato? I got this weird paper this morning." I said, pulling the letter from my pocket. She held out her hand for me to give it to her, eyes not leaving her book. "What is it?"

She closed her book, setting it down, and held the paper in both hands. After analyzing it, she blinked. "This is a message written by a variant of myself in a future timeline."

Why did I get it then?

"As before, the message was originally written by Suzumiya. Roughly translated, it means 'I am aware'." Nagato said. I could sense something in her voice. Something was wrong.

"Aware of what?"

"Suzumiya has become self-aware of her existence." Nagato said. Self aware that she's a god? "My future variant has attached a message to it, but-" she paused, instilling a fear inside me that reached my soul. Nagato doesn't pause like that.

"It is fragmented. Disconnected. There are many errors. The last message is incomplete."

Errors? I wonder what that could mean? Will Nagato go out of control again? Maybe I told her to create a message to send to myself, which might explain the errors. But why is it incomplete? "Can you read it?" I finally asked after contemplating all that. "What does it say, _exactly_?"

"Synchronization is impossible. Memory extracted. Self-aware is uncharacteristic behavior."

I could follow most of that. Nagato used a synchronization four years ago, when myself and Asahina-san (Big) were trapped in that timeline. Her past self and her future self synchronized so they were one in the same. She also did that more recently, in December. However, this time, they couldn't synchronize, which means something was blocking it. Also, why did Nagato say 'impossible'? That's a word I've rarely heard her use before... perhaps I'm overthinking it.

Memory extracted? That seems to be something related to Nagato. If I had to guess, the Data Integrated Entity-thing had to extract some sort of memory from Nagato, probably for analysis or security. Self-aware is uncharacteristic behavior? Well that's pretty much self explanatory. Haruhi wouldn't act like Haruhi if she found out she is a god.

Nagato stared at me patiently, aware that I was lost in thought. I motioned for her to continue.

"Sex orientation reversal."

The hell? I pinched the bridge of my nose. Haruhi, what did you do? Err... what are you _going_ to do?

Whose sexual orientation was changed? I could only hope it wasn't me. Or anyone I knew for that matter. "Okay, next?"

"Kyons..."

Ugh. Nevermind my stupid nickname. "... what about me?"

"That is it."

That's it?

"The message is truncated." She said.

Oh. Well crap.

"What will you do?" Nagato asked, carefully noting my confounded expression. If I hadn't noticed a slight tone change, I wouldn't have known it was a question.

I didn't have an answer.

Ugh... where is Koizumi when you need him?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

School passes rather quickly when you're preoccupied with thoughts. I held the letter in my hand as I walked to the clubroom. Before lunch ended, I had Nagato repeat to me what the message was exactly and scribbled it down, very crappily, in pencil. I spent the rest of class in an idle standby... the teachers didn't call on me, and as long as I looked like I was working, no one bothered me.

My trek to the clubroom was uneventful for the most part. The letter, in hand, kept me deep in thought up until I reached the door.

Then along came Haruhi.

I placed the letter in my pocket and started opening the clubroom door, just in time to see Haruhi skipping with joy from the far end of the hall. In one hand, a manilla envelope. I hoped there wasn't anything bad in there. In the other hand, a detention slip.

The hell? What did she do this time? I took a few steps towards her and called her name. "Haruhi?"

"KYON!" Haruhi screamed, rushing over to me. She waved the envelope in my face. "You won't believe what I have!"

"Why do you have a detention slip?" I questioned. Punishment usually upset Haruhi, and yet she was all smiles. That made the detention slip an even bigger worry.

"Oh, the principal and other administrators gave me detention for leaving school for the last three hours. But that's not important!" She exclaimed, handing me the envelope. When did you leave school?

I paused for a moment. The more important question, how did I not notice you were gone for the last three hours?

"Well don't just stand there! Open it!" She yelled. "Oh forget it." She snatched it from my hands, tucked it under her arm as if it were a textbook, and marched to the clubroom, promptly kicking the door open only to slam it in my face.

"It seems Suzumiya-san is rather excited about something." Koizumi said, appearing beside me. "Do you have any idea why?"

"She has something." I opened the door and walked in. Whatever was in that envelope couldn't be good.

"Where the hell is everyone?" Haruhi yelled impatiently. Nagato wasn't in her corner. Asahina-san wasn't here either. Koizumi and I just walked in. As if on cue, Nagato walked in, strode past the desks and sat in her corner.

"Okay, well... where's Mikuru?" Haruhi asked. "Aww, this is no fun! I can't reveal it if everyone isn't present!"

Reveal what? What do you have? I opened my mouth to ask just that only to be stopped by a knock on the door.

"Um?" Asahina-san stood in the doorway. "S-sorry I'm late. Tsuruya wanted me to carry some things to the Home Economics clubroom."

"Hm? Oh, alright then." Haruhi said. She motioned for Asahina to come in. The angelic beauty reluctantly walked in. "Everybody, your attention please!"

She climbed ontop of the rectangular table and smiled a thousand-watt smile. "Your gracious and ever-loving Brigade leader-" I snickered at that comment, receiving a death glare from Haruhi. "-will now present another token of appreciation to her fellow underlings, to reward you for your assistance in making this club an ever-growing presence in the occult community."

She opened the envelope and withdrew several slips of paper which I assumed to be tickets. "An all-expenses paid, weeklong stay at the tourist hotspot of Okinawa!"

My jaw hit the floor.

What sort of highway robbery did she commit to get those tickets? I quickly pulled her off the table, out into the hallway, and sternly hissed into her ear. "Haruhi, stealing is a felony!"

"How dare you accuse your Brigade leader of thieving! I would never stoop so low to such a thing!"

Really? Then tell me how we have a clubroom, four laptops, a computers with a hardline and router installed for internet access, a bunch of clothes, an electric teapot, electric heater, and two female members that were originally in other clubs?

She shrugged. "Most of those things were earned."

Your definition of 'earn' is completely different from the rest of the world's.

"Oh ye of little faith!" She said, rather loudly I might add. She took off her headphones and wore them around her neck. "I won these tickets fair and square."

"Doing what?" I shot her a skeptic look.

"One of the most popular radio stations in the world was hosting a giveaway!"

I gave her a blank stare I assumed she was talking about Tokyo's J-Wave radio station. Disregarding the fact that Japanese radio stations couldn't possibly be broadcasted to the whole world, how could she of all people have won? The fact that her walkman headphones could pick up such a radio station so away begged another question as well.

"They were holding a call-in giveaway. I was lucky number seven!" She said, beating her chest with a fist proudly.

I stared at her hand, still holding the pair of headphones. Wait a second, that's what you were doing this entire morning? Listening to the radio? You called them in the middle of class?

"It was the first time I'd won a sweepstakes like that... I have to admit that it's pretty unbelievable." Haruhi commented. "Anyways, I didn't steal these tickets!"

And with that, she burst into the clubroom. "We have lots of planning to do! Okinawa is such a huge tourist hotspot that there has to be some sort of strange, other-worldly stuff there! Our job as the SOS Brigade will be to try to locate as many strange things as possible. We leave the first week of summer!"

I shook my head in disbelief.

* * *

I asked Koizumi to stay after to discuss something. Haruhi left without so much as a word, and Nagato and Asahina-san soon after.

"Quite the turn of events, don't you think?" Koizumi smiled. "I'm surprised Suzumiya-san was able to win such a contest."

I'm just as surprised as you are.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?" he asked, sipping a cup of tea. I handed him the letter and told him my two cents.

"Hmm..." he scratched his head. "Well, this is intriguing. I suppose the first thing you noticed was the strange fragments and word choice, right?" I nodded. He was dead on. "Some of these messages look cryptic, which is very unlike Nagato. Let's analyze these one by one, and look at the possible meanings behind them."

_Brilliant plan. Why didn't I think of that?_

"Synchronization..." He looked at the paper curiously. "Didn't Nagato say she herself limited her powers of synchronization last December?"

That sounded familiar. I slowly nodded my head.

"If that's the case, then let's theorize from a moment." Koizumi said, leaning back in his chair. He picked up a pencil and drew a line across the bottom of the paper and split it in halves with another line. "Nagato confirmed this letter to be from the future, yes?" I nodded. "Let's make the left side our current timeline, and the right side, the future." He wrote down 'Now' and 'Future' in their designated areas and circled the right side. "The future-Nagato must have uplifted her own self-imposed ban and attempted to synchronize with herself in the past. The reason she uplifted her ban must have been of critical importance. She must have tried to notify her past self of threatening events"

I grunted in agreement. Something had to have happened to one of us, or maybe perhaps all of us.

"However, due to some external factor, something has prevented her synchronization." He pointed at the dividing line with the pencil. "Perhaps it is the Integrated Data Sentient Entity restricting her, or maybe it's Haruhi's doing, we don't know. We do know, however, that it is only restricting Nagato."

I shot him a confused look.

"If Nagato's synchonization was blocked, it would be safe to assume that her other abilities were blocked as well." Koizumi reasoned. "However, we're in possession of a letter that came from the future."

He was right. Someone had to have delivered the letter. Whatever restricted Nagato had no effect on someone else. Someone with the ability to time-travel.

"The only logical explanation as to how we received it is-" "-Asahina-san placed it in my locker." I finished for him. I fished in my pocket for my cell phone.

"This letter doesn't forewarn us of how close the future timeline will be to us." Koizumi said.

"Already ahead of you." I dialed Asahina-san's phone number. Even if she peppers us with Classified Information, we'll still have some input from her end.

"Hello?"

"Asahina-san! Koizumi and I would like to request you return to the clubroom. It's related to Haruhi." I said. She took the bait.

"Oh, um... Alright, I'll be there shortly."

"Okay, see you then." Click!

I began to dial Nagato's number as well, only to have Koizumi snatch my phone. "What the hell are you doing? Give that back!" I glared at him, holding my hand out.

"We don't need to involve her." Koizumi said. "Rest assured, Nagato-san will have likely arrived at the same conclusions as us."

"She should still be here. We can tell her what course of action she can take." I argued. He shook his head.

"Suppose if the Integrated Data Sentient Entity was the one that prevented Nagato from delivering the message." Koizumi said. "Telling her our plans for her course of action in this timeline will alert them. The Entity will have preemptive measures put in place. She may be unable to do what we request."

... damn him and his logic.

"We may include her in the discussion, but we must not tell her what we think she should do." Koizumi said. "And because I'm very well aware of your behavior, I believe the best option we have is to leave her in the dark."

"Fine." I said. Planning all of this would without her seemed unfair. Her presence alone usually reinforces my own sanity. Guess I'll have to make do.

"Let's keep going. We can fill Asahina-san later." Koizumi handed me back my phone, which I pocketed, and readdressed the paper. "Memory extracted... this one is rather difficult."

Yeah, I'll say. "The question about this I want to address is 'whose memory?'"

"I agree." Koizumi nodded. "There are so many questions to be asked about this one. What does 'extraction' mean? Is it a process? What significance do these memories hold?"

This is giving me such a headache.

"Worst of all, we have absolutely no way of answering these questions without inquiring Nagato-san." Koizumi said. He drew a question mark next to it. "We'll have to speak with her at a later time. It'll be best if we gather up every question we want to ask instead of calling her every couple of minutes."

"Self-aware is uncharacteristic behavior." I said.

Why does that sound so... off?

"This makes me question the validity of these warnings." Koizumi said, reading my mind. "Nagato-san isn't one to make mistakes."

"Maybe she was in a hurry?" I suggested. It was a longshot. Under all other circumstances, I would've accepted it, but not when it came to Nagato.

"Perhaps." Koizumi didn't sound convinced. "This one seems pretty self-explanatory. We don't need to delve deeper into it. Next one?"

I groaned. "Sex orientation reversal."

"Once again, this brings the question of who is affected. As well as who did it." Koizumi said gingerly. I could see that this wasn't a topic either of us really wanted to discuss. "Nagato-san wouldn't do such a thing, since it's a more trivial characteristic of humans. Which means the perpetrator is Suzumiya-san."

"For the record, I'm straight." I muttered, facepalming. I certainly did not want to be the one affected, that's for sure.

"What made you want to share that?" Koizumi asked. I blinked.

"I dunno. Seemed like we should tell each other so we know what to expect."

Koizumi chuckled. "Are you perhaps, compensating for something?" You little bastard! "I'm only joking of course..."

Well what about you?

"What about me?"

What's your orientation? I told you, it only makes sense that you tell me.

"Hmm, what was the term Asahina-san used? 'Classified Information?'" He leaned forward, his face a little too close, finger on his lips. Forget I asked. Urgh, that just ruined my memory of when Asahina-san said that! I shoved him away. "If you must know, I prefer women. That's not to say that I discriminate of-"

"Moving on!" I said quickly, staring at the paper. That's incredibly ambiguous of you Koizumi... I think I may have lost a little respect for you. "Kyons."

I couldn't help but slap my forehead at the ridiculous nickname. "What could that mean?"

Koizumi smiled. "Well, for one it's written in English."

I stared at him. "Nagato said it like that. 'Kyons'." You honestly can't blame me. There isn't a way to make Kanji plural.

"I see. Well in the plural form, that means that there are multiple versions of you." He said succinctly.

What the hell does that mean?

"I don't know. Perhaps there is some sort of issue of time travel which causes there to be two of you in the same place at the same time?" Koizumi suggested. I sighed. Not more time-travel nonsense.

"There might be another meaning." Koizumi added. "Perhaps when Nagato said that, she meant the English possessive form. Which may indicate that an event occurred involving your belongings, body, mental state, physical ability, and/or characteristics."

I scratched my head in frustration. Everything was pretty easy to decipher except this.

"We won't know until it happens, I'm afraid." Koizumi said with a saddened smile. He added, "But at least we're armed with the knowledge and will be ready to react when the time comes." Just knowing that something bad was on the horizon made me feel worse.

Knock knock.

The door opened slightly, and an angel poked her head through the sliver. "I'm here... W-what's this about?"

I motioned for her to take a seat, and began the long task of filling her in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

Asahina-san understood our explanations without a hitch. Whether or not it's because she had lived it due to her time-traveling nature, or because Koizumi oversimplified everything, I have no idea. But over the course of an hour, she was all caught up, and we discussed any additional problems we might have with the letter.

Ignoring the questions we planned on asking Nagato (of whom I'm actually headed to her place now), we had two very important questions left unanswered.

Who sent us this letter?

What's going to happen?

The logical deduction would be that Asahina-san was the one to deliver the letter. However, our discussion held several minutes ago, which included many 'Classified Information's ultimately told us that Asahina-san didn't have the clearance, Haruhi wouldn't learn of her true existence, and nothing inherently wrong would happen in the future timeline.

Short answers; Asahina-san will not deliver it and the future will not have any catastrophic events involving Haruhi.

The latter answer only perplexed me further because of one simple fact. I have a letter in my hand written by our club's personal bodyguard who, incidentally, has absolutely no sense of humor. This means that in the near-or-distant future, Nagato will write a hidden message in an inexplicably strange letter that explicitly states that Haruhi becomes self aware. Nagato will go against herself in attempting to deliver said letter.

The question I was left with was the same one I said when I pressed the button for the apartment intercom.

"What the hell does this even mean?"

After a short moment of silence, the intercom buzzed with static, and the word "Enter" resonated from the machine-like alien.

I shortly learned of the scariest thing I have ever known.

* * *

"I cannot answer your inquiry because I simply do not know."

Even though I knew exactly what she was going to say, I stared at her as if her response were some sort of joke. She couldn't possibly tell me of things she didn't have any information about. The most I could do is ask what her predictions might be, but in the case that she's wrong, it wouldn't help any of us. It would probably psych me up to expect what she predicts, and would completely throw me off if something else were to happen. So why did I even come here?

"The Integrated Data Sentient Entity has issued an order of restriction on all inorganic functions as a preemptive measure to counteract this interface from from breaking regulation and attempting to synchronize."

Dammit, this is exactly what we _didn't want._

"This interface-..." she stopped. "-I... I am disconnected for the time being."

What? I asked her to explain.

"With the exception of what occurred last December, I have always been connected in some way to the Integrated Data Sentient Entity." Nagato stated. Her monotone was slightly higher than usual, as if worried. "Right now, they have severed my connection for an undisclosed amount of time."

"What are you saying?" I asked. "You can't-...?"

"I am normal..." She folded her hands in her lap and stared at them for a moment. "Human."

"... why?"

"Stress." she said slowly. "The Integrated Data Sentient Entity has observed from the deliverance of that message, that a high data burst will occur once more. With it, a high probability of a repeat of last December."

So they left you completely in the dark? They're going to remove your magical data changing thing?

"Correct." She said, still staring at her hands. "... -as well as any other functions that separate a Living Human Interface from a human."

No more magic, no more futuresight, nothing. Damn.

We sat like that, in silence, for about an hour. Nagato broke the silence.

"May I make a statement?" She asked.

Sure... and for the record, you don't need my permission.

She looked at me and I met her gaze. I wish I hadn't. I saw _fear_ in her eyes. "I do not like feeling vulnerable."

* * *

Reason escapes me as to why I did it, but I invited for her to stay over at my house for a while. She accepted. When asked about it by my parents, I told them that her parents were out of town for a while and she didn't like to be alone. They didn't object to that so I let her have my room, while I slept on the couch.

It wasn't the first time a girl had slept over in my house. Last summer, the whole club stayed a whole weekend at my place. And that's not including the endless recursion of time...

But this was the first time a girl slept over in my room. I tidied up the room a bit, so messiness shouldn't be a problem. But it _is_ my room. I hoped to God that I wouldn't walk into my own room ill-timed like some stereotypical comedy manga. And I'd probably have to wake up an hour earlier to get ready for school to accommodate her preparations.

This was for the sake of our sanity. Hers for her concern of safety, what little my family could do for someone that was previously able to catch a knife with her bare hands. Mine because she actually started showing a hint of emotion like December, only this time not due development of herself, but the opposite; her inability to act and perform as a guardian of the SOS Brigade.

I decided against telling everyone else, at least for the time being. They didn't need the added stress of being susceptible to whatever was supposed to happen in the future. If I got a bad feeling about something, I'd inform Koizumi, so that at the very least, the Agency would offer some support or protection.

I hoped that my choices weren't bad. I mean, for all I knew, Haruhi noticing Nagato's slight behavior chances could probably trigger whatever event is supposed to happen. Then all of this would just be over... and we could go back to our daily lives!

There were just so many questions left unanswered. How would I be able to prepare for _whatever_?

I didn't fall asleep until three in the morning. Those questions I pondered throughout the night were only a few days away from their answers.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

"We have so much planning to do!" Haruhi exclaimed as she entered the clubroom after school the following day. I grumbled. After the discussion I had yesterday, planning was the last thing I wanted to do.

She listed a bunch of things we needed to do there, which Koizumi took the liberty of typing up on a laptop. From visiting suspicious locations within the city, to trying a bunch of food in strangely placed restaurants, she wanted to do it all. It made me wonder, what was our intended goal of going to Okinawa? To have fun or search for the occult?

"Both, if we can." Haruhi replied. "Obviously the occult is the main priority, but who is to say that we can't have fun while we search for aliens?"

And with that, she continued to list more activities to Koizumi. "Fireworks! We have to buy fireworks!"

Maybe it's because I slept on the couch last night, but I felt really disgruntled for some reason. Stress is quite obviously a factor in that, but I just felt really annoyed. Not even Asahina-san's tea was enough to lift me from my low spirit today.

I kept giving sideways glances to Nagato. She wasn't acting strange like last night, she simply sat motionless at the table with the rest of us and looked at Haruhi, seemingly uninterested. She appeared to operate as normal. Which was good... I don't think I could ever scrub that look on her face from my mind.

Koizumi printed a list and I headed over to the Computer Research Society clubroom to grab it. One of the Research Society members stared at me as I walked in. "Why haven't you guys stolen a printer yet?" I simply shrugged. When I returned, Koizumi was outside the door and Asahina-san was in the middle of changing into yet another costume.

Just the usual, eh Haruhi?

* * *

We ended club activities and packed up. I watched as Nagato departed first, presumably headed to my house. Koizumi nudged my shoulder. "Did you ask her?"

I nodded. "She doesn't know anything. She said it's rather worrisome."

"Indeed it is." Koizumi remarked.

Haruhi proceeded to exit the room by cartwheeling out the door with a loud, exuberant, "Yahoo!" She seemed overly excited, something which I wasn't quite fond of. When Haruhi was happy, she was more likely to create incredibly stupid problems. Problems that I would have to fix.

"Haruhi!"

I exited the school grounds and caught up her. I hadn't really planned to chase after her. I just acted on impulse. She seemed to acknowledge my presence and looked at me for a brief moment. Her eyes diverted elsewhere, deep in thought over something Okinawa related. "Kyon, do you have a pen and paper? We can go to the coffee shop near the station and you can write out a few more things-"

"Haruhi, why do you want to go to Okinawa so badly?" I blurted out. It's not like I had anything else to say. And I'll be honest, this was something that was on my mind.

"... hm?" Her face was blank, but she soon smiled a brilliant smile. "Call it a girl's intuition, but I have some strange feeling that something big is going to happen soon. And considering the incredible luck I had just obtaining these tickets, I feel as though it has something to do with this trip! Something big looms on the horizon and when it happens, we have to grab it with all the strength we can muster!"

Well, she's right about one thing... something big is going to happen. But in all honesty, it seems she just wanted a vacation. I also had a sneaking suspicion that her so-called premonition would be about something else. Probably in some different place altogether.

"It won't be!" She shook her head. "Do you know how popular Okinawa is? I'm certain it's even popular in the paranormal world. There's no other place out more perfect for something strange to happen."

"The only strange thing that'll be in Okinawa is your crazy antics." I muttered under my breath.

What Haruhi wants is right in front of her, and even though I've told her about it, she refuses to acknowledge their existence. All the while, the alien, time-traveler, and esper want to know why you're messing with their lives.

"And what if we do find something extraordinary?" Haruhi asked. "To come into contact with something foreign, unknown. It would be so amazing!"

"Why do you care, anyways? You don't even believe in stuff like that, and you're getting a free vacation out of it."

At that moment, a train passed behind me. I turned and remembered the last time I saw this place. It was the spot at the train tracks where Haruhi told me her story about being in a baseball stadium and feeling so insignificant. About losing the appreciation her normal life. I felt really guilty. Haruhi wanted an amazing world and she had the opportunity to get one... but it was me that talked her out of it. I was selfish and wanted life to be normal, a life that I now know I couldn't stand having.

Everything we've done for Haruhi's sake... it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth that she wants the life that I currently have and will never get it.

* * *

"Kyon!" Haruhi poked my face. We had some way or another reached the coffee shop. "Something on your mind? You know, as Brigade Leader, it's my duty to help my subordinates with their personal matters every now and then."

I rolled my eyes. "It's nothing."

"Kyon." She sent me a knowing look. You know, I believe this is the first time she's actively shown concern for me. "What do you mean by that?"

Whoops, did I just say that out loud? "Nothing, just..." I sighed. How are you supposed to tell somebody that never listens to you that what they want isn't what it seems?

A thought struck me at random.

"Hey, Haruhi... does the name John Smith seem familiar to you?"

She looked at me for a moment, and shook her head. "No. Can't say that it does. Should it?"

She didn't know? She idly stirred her straw as I stared in disbelief. Maybe this Haruhi and the one from December are different... the moment I mentioned that name in December, she practically strangled me. Now she doesn't care?

Well maybe if I explained a bit? No... it's too early for the end of the world.

"No, not at all." I sighed, downing my drink. I watched as Haruhi shot me a questioning gaze. She must have gotten over it because she went back to writing down things for Okinawa. She seemed to completely forget about my alleged personal problems.

"Say, Kyon? Which would you prefer, para-sailing or jet-skiing?"

I'd prefer neither, thank you very much.

* * *

The next day, Haruhi acted really strange. I didn't notice it at first, but Haruhi was unusually quiet during the first few periods. By the time Gym class rolled around, she didn't even bother changing. I would usually ignore her because she tends to get pissy on occasion, except this time was different. She wasn't angry.

Usually when she was this quiet, she'd wear a scowl, or exclaim about her boredom. Instead, she was incredibly nonchalant. Her actions weren't wild. She didn't voice any opinions.

I certainly hoped this wasn't something about the John Smith thing yesterday... it couldn't have been anything on a subconscious level, could it?

When school ended, Haruhi did something even weirder. "Hey Kyon, you're in charge of getting all the club members together until I arrive." And with that, she just left. Since when did Haruhi Suzumiya leave anyone in charge of _her_ club?

I met Koizumi at the door of the clubroom. "Where is Suzumiya-san?" Koizumi asked.

I shrugged. "Has Haruhi made a Closed Spaces recently?"

"Closed Spaces?" He blinked. "No. I believe her mental state to be rather calm right now, as we haven't had any Closed Spaces for about a month and a half."

Is that so?

I voiced my growing suspicion of Haruhi being saddened by something, and Koizumi looked rather shocked. Nagato looked like-... well she just looked like Nagato. Asahina-san didn't have anything to say, but she shifted around nervously.

Then Haruhi opened the front door. "Haruhi, are you feeling okay?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, I'm great! Why?"

"You seem a little... off."

"Oh. Well you don't have to worry your pretty little head." She said, her boisterousness returning in full swing. "After all, what sort of Commander would I be if I let petty things ruin my mood?"

That... makes about as much sense in context as it does out of context. Absolutely zero. None.

Well, at least she's back to normal. But what was she so moody about?

"It was nothing. Don't worry about it."

We continued planning for our trip to Okinawa. I caught hint of the same uncaring look in Haruhi's eyes. Koizumi saw it too.

"Suzumiya." To our shock, it was Nagato that addressed the problem. "You are troubled."

"Yuki?" Haruhi stared at her. "I'm not-"

"You are." Nagato declared with a gentle voice. She set her book down and stood up. "Why?"

I felt myself panic. If you ignored her monotone, the little alien bookworm sounded like she was concerned for Haruhi's well-being. Which... she always was, but never in such a direct manner. Was it because Nagato was severed from the Data Integrate-whatever-thing?

The clubroom was silent. All eyes were on our great Commander.

"I-... it's not-" She locked eyes with Nagato and sighed. "About a week ago I wanted to give you guys some sort of reward, as a sort of apology..." _Apology for what?_ "And then by some stroke of luck we scored those tickets. I couldn't help but feel that there was some omnipotent presence. It was like there was someone that listened to me and made it so that I would win and reward you all! And I thought that I'd be able to meet that presence if we traveled to Okinawa."

"But then I began thinking," she continued, eyes looking upon bookshelves. "That presence, or whatever it was, that allowed me to win those tickets gave a gift to me, to give to you. And if we went to Okinawa blindly searching for it, it would waste the gift."

That explains the parasailing.

"I really want to find that presence, but it doesn't seem fair to take this gift away from you guys to search for something that might not even be there." Haruhi said to us. "This is supposed to be your vacation, after all."

She didn't seem as sure as she did last night. What happened to that 100% feeling of certainty that the occult would be in Okinawa? Was Haruhi having doubts? And why was she being so generous?

"So that's it?" Koizumi smiled. _What was what?_ "Right now, you're thinking, 'Should I search for the entity that gave me the tickets, or should I let my friends enjoy the vacation?'" Koizumi smiled. "This indecision is what caused you to cram so many things into our schedule."

Haruhi nodded.

"And now, because you've crammed so many things into our schedule, you've become dissatisfied because you're not doing what you want?"

"Bingo." Haruhi said dejectedly, slumping into a heap at her desk.

"Sounds like you were getting confused and upset over nothing." I commented idly. "It's useless to think things like that."

She sent me a look that practically screamed with anger 'Did you just call your Brigade Commander useless?'

"The trip is booked, we have the tickets. You didn't need to worry yourself over whether or not we'd have fun... that's never stopped you before, and it shouldn't have started now." I continued. "Besides-" I paused, mentally slapping myself for what I was about to say, "- we're the SOS Brigade. Having a vacation isn't in our interests. Our goal is to search for unexplainable phenomenon and have fun with _them_."

Haruhi stared at me for a moment, her head still resting on the desk. She slowly raised herself and smiled. "Hmm... You're absolutely right!" Here we go. "Why did I get worried over nothing? For a moment, I was acting just like you Kyon. An _unbelieving_, _useless_ attitude is not meant for a Brigade Commander. I'm in charge, so I should make the calls."

Insults aside, I believe that was Haruhi's way of saying Thank You.

"As such, we're going to do triple what we had planned. Koizumi I need you to do some internet searching..." and thus she continued raving on about what to do on our so-called vacation without a worry in the world. (Ah, that was a cliche alliteration... whatever. At least she's happy now.)

You're welcome, Haruhi.


	5. Chapter 5

** Mirror Image by Metal Kirby**

Disclaimer: No suing pwease.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Train of Thought**

Since waking up, I have discovered that my friends have- erm… _changed_ and that I've become the person that I have disdainful feelings towards. Any previous experience of being thrust into a strange, bizarre, Haruhi-related problem had just been 1-up-ed. In EVERY sense.

Well, hold on. I'm not entirely sure that these guys are my friends. These people are just claiming to be Nagato, Asahina-san, and Koizumi. I can't be sure if that's who they really are. If they were the Brigade members, then wouldn't they be freaking out about the gender switch?

I'm feeling some sort of déjà vu here. I couldn't help but feel that I already came to a decision. That feeling makes me firmly believe that I can't rule out the possibility that they're telling the truth. And if that's the case, could it be that I'm the only one that knows about the gender-swap?

I wish this whole thing was a movie, just so I could fastforward to the ending.

* * *

While I was busy thinking about possible outcomes to this situation, the others were patiently waiting. Or, at least, I think… I'm not entirely sure what was going on.

"His mental processes appear to be delayed. He is currently in an oblivious state equivalent to that of REM sleeping patterns."

"Will he be alright?"

"This is merely temporary, though I cannot be sure when he will fully recover enough to converse with us."

"Eh? W-well then what do we d-do?"

"Nerves can send an impulse through his spinal cord and up to his cerebral cortex. This electrical impulse will be enough to mentally resuscitate him."

"Pardon?"

"Using a common expression; you can bring him back down to Earth. By hitting him."

_**SLAP!**_

"OWW!"

* * *

I decided to believe that they were telling the truth. Less work on my part, you see? Well, that and I didn't want to be slapped by Itsuko again. My face was still stinging.

Wait, what did I call her? Itsuko? I glanced at her for a second, seeing her perfect white teeth glisten in the form of a smile. That smile was all I needed to know.

She's Koizumi…

"Koizumi-san? I'm perfectly fine. Really." I backed away, out of striking distance.

Assuming that these were my friends (hell, I didn't even want to come close to thinking about other alternatives) I looked at the new faces of my fellow Brigade members. They each bore a striking resemblance to their "normal" counterparts. They acted a similar fashion as well; Koizumi smiling, Asahina-san hiding behind him… or her… or whatever, and Nagato being as still and calm as ever. This redefines the saying "some things never change". Man, I really hope this is just some sort of dream or joke. I'm too tired to put up with this.

As I was thinking of this, I stubbed my toe against the bedpost. Heh… guess that rules out the dreaming part.

Alright, so what about Haruhi? Where is she in all of this? Unknown to me, her presence was revealed right on cue.

"Nnnh…" a voice moaned from behind me.

Koizumi's face brightened even more. She moved quickly to the bed behind me, where the girl was laying.

"Ah, Kyonko! How are you feeling?"

"What? Ugh… my head." She sat up, eyes closed, hands holding her head.

"You've been out for about two hours. We were starting to get worried. For both of you."

"Huh? Who the hell are you?"

My soul skyrocketed. Only one girl in the world would ever respond in such a genki-girl manner. I was instantly "happier", for lack of a better term, and felt rejuvenated. My previously sore body had suddenly received relief.

"Um… K-Kyon-nee chan?"

_Kyon-nee chan? Kyonko? Dammit… that's supposed to be me? How in the world did a stupid nickname increase in stupidity over the course of two hours?_

I cleared my throat. "Can you guys give us a minute?"

Everyone looked at me. After a few minutes, I got annoyed as their gazes intensified on me. "Get out! As Commander of the SOS Brigade, I demand that you subordinates leave this room at once!"

Koizumi, Nagato, and Asahina immediately left the room, shutting the door behind them.

I blinked. In that one instance, I had acted exactly as how Haruhi would have. Hmm… so that's how it's like to have power. Interesting.

"Hey, you."

Hmm?

"… what do you mean Commander of the SOS Brigade?"

"I think you know very well…" I scoffed, taking a seat right on her bed. We engaged in a staring contest, our faces showing ridiculous looking scowls. For a few minutes, neither of us spoke. Our foreheads were practically pushing against each other. Kyonko… or Haruhi… or whatever, then let out a meaningful growl. A headbutt pushed me back. My hands instinctively rose up and pushed her away, just in case she would be ready to attack once more.

"Alright… enough of this." I finally said, standing up. "If you're just going to sit there and do nothing, then I have no need to supervise you. You're just being a waste of time."

She grumbled in reply. I walked over to the windowsill, leaning against it. Looking outside, I could see a light drizzle falling. It wasn't storming outside, just a light rain. Some of the athletic teams were still outside, practicing away in the rain. Their commitment is honorable. How anyone would want to run, pitch, or do any sort of activity outside in the rain is beyond me.

I began to reminisce in my memories. Incidentally, the last two times I could distinctly remember any form of rain were both with Haruhi. The first instance was during summer vacation last year. Koizumi had arranged for a brilliantly stupid murder scenario at a summer home on a private island. During a typhoon, Haruhi dragged me out to the cliffs to investigate. That's where we ended up falling. Luckily, there was a ledge to catch us. We ended up going into a conveniently placed cave to de-soak ourselves until the storm died down. The second instance was more recent, in winter. Haruhi had forced me to fetch a small heater for our clubroom. Through the bitter cold, for the greater part of an hour, I lugged the heavy thing up the school hill. Why I would do that is beyond me. When I returned to the classroom, I blacked out. Next thing I knew was Haruhi waking me up. Nighttime had fallen and it had started to rain. We exited the clubroom and headed for home, using a school staff umbrella to shield us from the pelt of condensed water in brisk winter air.

All of this happened before today. The world just had to flip upside down, didn't it? But for what reason? What sort of positive result could come out of this?

* * *

To be honest, my journey through memories actually blocked out everything in the "real world". I didn't even notice the Kyonko girl in front of me, poking at my arm.

_**Poke**_

What's supposed to happen then? If I'm Haruhi, what will the world come to?

_**Poke poke**_

Moreover, what happens to the old Haruhi? Besides being placed in "my" body, is she still God?

_**Poke poke poke**_

Am I supposed to be Haruhi? Will I be a suitable replacement until all of this gets sorted out?

_**Poke poke poke**_

Will we get out of this?

_**Poke poke**_

"…"

_**Poke**_

"WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN DEEP THOUGHT RIGHT NOW?"

My outburst would leave a slightly startled girl and an angry hyperventilating guy inside an empty room. Ugh, Freudians everywhere would be laughing at the situation. Believe me, this isn't_ that_ sort of thing.

The girl recovered and retaliated.

" don't know what the hell is going on around here, but it hardly calls for you to act all melancholic Haruki!"

She stopped, really confused. "W-wait, what did I just call you?"

Names and pauses did nothing to me. I attempted to respond in the most Haruhi-like manner.

"The last thing I want to hear is sass coming from one of my subordinates. Kyonko? You are a part of the SOS Brigade, meaning I boss you around. Not vice versa. Learn it, live it, and love it. And if you can't love it, deal with it!"

"… what is going on here?"

Beats me. I guess you're currently trying to piss me off.

"… who are you?"

* * *

Under normal circumstances, I would have answered "Kyon", the packmule of the SOS Brigade. But for some strange reason, I had an irking feeling that said I was wrong.

Confused? Okay, here's the layman's terms:

I felt, for no real reason, that I wasn't Kyon anymore. Strange huh?

* * *

So this is what I said in reply to the aforementioned question the girl asked.

"Suzumiya Haruki. Supremely Manly Commander of the SOS Brigade, at your service."

She stared at me. I could see a fire growing within her eyes, and an outburst waiting to happen. Good ole Haruhi. I'm glad some things never change. Any minute now, I expected for her to explode. And explode she did. "What? What kind of joke is this? You hardly look fit to lead MY brigade!"

I chuckled. Dragging her over to the mirror, I presented Kyonko-Haruhi with her reflection. "You're one to talk, Kyonko."

I watched as she examined her reflection. The look on her face was priceless. She kept touching her face, stretching it. All with the same wide-eyed look on her face. Well, technically it wasn't exactly her natural face. In that aspect, I felt disappointed. Catching Haruhi off guard was almost always impossible.

Seeing Kyonko scramble put a smile to my face. I noticed a yellow ribbon on the counter, akin to that of Haruhi's old headband. When her eyes unglued themselves from the mirror, I picked up the ribbon and handed it to her.

"Huh?" She shook her head, still shocked from her "transformation".

I pocketed the ribbon, in hopes that she would take it later. Hmm… guess my ponytail fetish hasn't gone away.

"… so that's how it is." I said to myself.

To the best of my knowledge, everyone besides myself and Haruhi have switched genders. That's not a good thing. But why were we exempt? Was it because of some random twist of fate? Ah, but with Haruhi, there is no such thing as fate. I must have provoked her in some way.

But how? I mean, I didn't do anything... did I?

Ah geez. Someone throw me a line here, because I'm sinking fast.

* * *

** Metal kirby IS BACK! O(^.^)O**

Summer has arrived, allowing me to do as I please with fanfics. Okay, not really. In fact, I have a lot of stuff going on in my life, so I'll probably be stuck doing OTHER things besides writing the chapters to fanfics.

Well anyways, here's the long promised chapter. I've deleted the previous versions, so sorry. Well anyways, hope you enjoyed reading. I'm just about as confused with the storyline as you a right now.

I should really make an outline to where this is going to go.

Anyways, see ya!


	6. Chapter 6

_**Before continuing, please take heed of author's notes.**_

_**Due to the absurdness of appearance (in Kirby's opinion) of the layout of the chapters, I request that you click the 3/4 size page reduction up on the top right. Thank you, and enjoy.**_

**

* * *

**

**Mirror Image by Metal Kirby**

Disclaimer: No suing pwease.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Out of Character**

"… did you say something?"

"…"

Was my response. I'd really like to pay someone just to remove the concept of 'thinking aloud' from my body. I dragged the girl away from her reflection and pulled her out into the hall. Koizumi and the others were waiting just outside our door, patiently waiting for the brief Brigade Chief-to-Underling meeting to end. Letting go of the underling, I cleared my throat and prepared to give a speech for reasons unknown to me.

* * *

"I want to commend all of you. A mysterious, life-jarring incident is perfect for keep me in on edge; keep me aware of my surroundings…"

_…..What on Earth am I saying?_

"But if you thought that I'd be confused for more than a second, you'd be wrong. All the evidence you've so plainly lain out only screams set up. I mean, Kyonko may be incompetent as a brigade member, but she is nowhere near stupid enough to leave evidence at the scene of the crime. And a white board checklist? No one does that."

_I honestly have no clue where this is coming from. Someone quick! Get something to muffle me… or duct tape my mouth shut! I can't stop!_

"I'll save you the trouble of explaining. It's quite obvious that this is a full operation designed to throw me off of my intended goals. It was well planned out, had it not been for the obvious reasons I previously mentioned. Brigade, I appreciate the sentiment…"

Fem-Koizumi smiled and opened her mouth to speak. I smirked, cutting her off... wait, why did I-?

"However, this… is… _**mutiny**_!"

They all flinched at my outburst. Well, except for Nagato. But aside from him, what the hell. I would have flinched at my outburst.

"For this, you'll all be severely punished. I let it slide during the island murder scenario, but this… doing an unauthorized activity behind the Brigade leader's back is unacceptable. During our trip to Okinawa, you will each personally show me supernatural evidence. If you fail to show me anything, heads will roll."

Haruhi-Kyonko gave an exasperated sigh. "Listen here… what makes you think we'll listen to you? And what makes you think the supernatural will just magically show up?"

"Irrelevant! For speaking in that manner of tone, the entire Brigade is staying the night at your place."

"W-what? But I-"

"You know… I could come up with much more embarrassing punishments…"

"ALRIGHT FINE!"

I chuckled and then started walking down the hall. "Alright, go to the clubroom and get your things and leave. Kyonko, expect everyone to be at your house in half an hour."

* * *

Everyone gathered their things from the clubroom while I took a little trip to the roof. I spotted a vanilla envelope, the same one that held our roundtrip plane tickets to Okinawa. I pocketed them and walked back. When I got back to the clubroom, it was empty. Everyone had left. Everyone but me. I took a deep breath and then sat at my usual spot next to the desk.

I was frozen in my tracks, head held in my palms.

_WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING?_

All of us having gone a sex swap, and I switched places with my exact opposite. That I've just started to understand… but this, this is crazy. I swear is the craziest thing I've ever done. Not only did I make up some nonsensical speech which commended and also ridiculed my friends, I also just invited myself and said friends to a girl's house … Seriously, what was I thinking? I had no clue what's going on.

Dammit, looks like I'm sleeping over at my house.

… wait what?

_**MY **HOUSE?_

* * *

_**Sorry this chapter is so short. Next chapter will make it up; this Kirby promises.**_


	7. Rewrite Notice

**Off hiatus and rewriting. Please start the fic from the very beginning. Thank you.**

Status so far:

Foreword, Prologue, Chapter 1: Complete

Chapter 2: Complete

Chapter 3: In progress


End file.
